The Space Between Us When Something Breaks

When I was about eight, my best friend was a Japanese boy named Soshi Okamoto. It was through Soshi’s family that I fell in love with Japanese culture and first learned of a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, which literally means “golden repair.”

What I love about Kintsugi is that it doesn’t hide what's broken - it highlights it - and in doing so makes the object stronger and more beautiful than before it broke.

But this isn’t an article about pottery. It’s about people, and what happens in the space between us when something breaks.

One of the hardest truths in life is that relationships - at home and at work - break down more often than we care to acknowledge. People misunderstand each other. Expectations don’t get met. Words land wrong. Trust gets dented. And suddenly, something that once felt strong starts to feel fragile in ways you can’t ignore.

When relationships start to break, the natural response is usually not repair. It’s protection. We pull back. We stop saying what we really think. We start managing risk instead of leaning into relationship. Without anyone wanting it, the space between us grows and divisiveness takes the place of cohesion. Trust breaks down.

Some teams step back from the mess and try in vain to avoid it. Great teams lean in. They tell the truth, they listen with openness, they commit to each other, and they forgive.

Here’s my challenge to you… with your relationships that feel strained right now, will you choose commitment over withdrawal, forgiveness over resentment, and forward movement over staying stuck?

If repairing the relationship is not the right solution for you, that’s okay. Admit the truth and go your separate ways. At least you’ll both get unstuck.

But if repair is needed, find the place from where you are willing to engage. Then follow these 3 steps…

(1) commit to the team you have,

(2) forgive when you get hurt, and

(3) keep walking forward together.

Whatever you do, don’t ignore and hide the truth.

Now, here’s the secret sauce: commitment, forgiveness, and moving forward are not one-time decisions.

Old hurts don’t disappear overnight. Just like old wounds have a way of reopening. The same frustration resurfaces, and every time it does, we have to make the same choice again:

Will I recommit?

Will I forgive?

Will I keep moving forward with this person?

We do this because we all know that relationships aren’t healed by one act of forgiveness. They’re healed by a thousand renewed decisions to stay committed to one another.

Follow these principles and you just may find that when relationships break - sometimes - they come back stronger.

That’s golden repair.

When done with pottery, it’s beautiful.

With people, it’s priceless.

Have a relationship on your team that's stuck? I can help.

Call or text me at (647) 403-4679. Friends helping friends.

About EOS

EOS is a simple, complete and proven system for running a truly great organization. As an EOS Implementer, I help my clients create organizational alignment, execute with accountability and discipline, and work together as a healthy team.