Learning to Trust Myself

The most common question I have been asked throughout the years since starting my business KindHuman, is where did the name come from?

I’ve always told the origin story in terms of two things. The name came from my founding partner, Adam Abramowicz, and it’s a play on the word humankind with an emphasis on kindness.

But there is a story I’ve never told. And it wasn’t until I had spent nearly a decade of working on my ride within that I recognized how it was that I came to start a bicycle business called KindHuman.

Since a very young age I was grasping to find something that would help me become my authentic self. I knew that I was a kind person and had the capacity to make a meaningful contribution to this world during my lifetime.

However, I didn’t trust myself.

So where to find this sense of trust I so desperately needed?

My dad was a successful entrepreneur and I have strong business instincts. I also love outdoor and adventurous sports such as skiing, mountaineering, and cycling. So I started searching for a business that would help me become the person I wanted to be. In doing so, I was using something external to me - in this case a business - to place my trust. KindHuman was that business and it was a big name to live up to.

Starting KindHuman is one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. Not many people have the privilege of starting a business that they dreamed of creating since childhood. I spent decades yearning to create my own sporting goods brand. And one day in my early thirties I found the courage to turn my dream into reality.

What I didn’t expect was the flood of negative emotions that started to come up after starting KindHuman. The hardest one for me to deal with was the sense of shame I felt owning a business with the name KindHuman. While I was genuinely a kind person, I am far from perfect and there are many things I have done in my life that I wish I hadn’t. I’d have nightmares of some of these things coming out into the light from the darkness of my past. I felt like a fraud and this was a hard thing to feel.

Intellectually, I knew that I am human like the rest of us. Emotionally, I couldn’t get over it.

As I eluded to above, I have spent close to a decade working with my coach, Janelle Smiley, on healing my past trauma and rediscovering my authentic self. As difficult as this journey has been, I wouldn’t change it for anything. Through this journey, my shame has been replaced by love. A change that has infinitely improved my life.

The foundation of this transformation was learning how to trust myself.

Through this I have truly found what we in the EOS community call the EOS Life. There are five components to this… doing what you love, with people you love, making a huge difference, being compensated appropriately, with time for other passions.

Here’s another secret… I started writing this article without a clear understanding of the main message I wanted to share with this story. In the end, I think it’s about understanding that the powerful systems and tools I use to improve my life and my clients lives are limited without a foundation of trust in one’s self.

For example, I genuinely believe that EOS is an amazingly powerful system for helping a team of people grow an organization that truly matters. But if the people on that team don’t trust in themselves, then EOS (and any system) will be greatly limited in its power.

Today, I no longer need something outside myself to trust so that I can feel whole inside. I have found that sense of knowing that I am enough. And so are you.

With love,

Gavin

About EOS

EOS is a simple, complete and proven system for running a truly great organization. As an EOS Implementer, I help my clients create organizational alignment, execute with accountability and discipline, and work together as a healthy team.